Soccer Motivators - Soccer Motivation! » Soccer jokes

A few Soccer/football jokes to amuse…

admin — Sat, 24 Sep 2011 08:41:59 +0000

A little boy took his parents to court because he did not want to live with them anymore. The honored judge said to him “So why don’t you want to live with your dad?”
“Because he beats me” said the little boy.
“Why don’t you want to live with your mum then?” asked the judge.
Because she beats me as well.
“Oh” said the judge “Well who would you like to live with then?”
The little boy replied” I would like to live with Plymouth Argyle FC, because they don’t beat anyone!!”(Plymouth Argyle currently sit at the bottom of the football league – to our US readers!)

Apparently, when Harry Redknapp was West ham manager he offered to send the squad on an all expenses paid holiday to Florida but they declined. They’d rather go to Blackpool so they could see what it’s like to ride on an open-top bus.

Why do Hearts fans plant potatoes round the edge of Tynecastle?
A: So they have Something to lift at the end of the season.

England’s Got A NEW Sponsor!

admin — Tue, 20 Jul 2010 08:35:01 +0000

England’s Got a New Sponsor or should I say Sponsors!?

We all had great hope in our team when they went to the World Cup. I still think Capello is a great manager and hope he can reignite the confidence in the team for the upcoming Euro Championship games. Someone sent me this which I thought was quite amusing…

England For The World Cup!

admin — Tue, 15 Jun 2010 11:13:15 +0000

Snow White & The Seven Dwarfs.
The seven dwarfs always left to go work in the mine early each morning.
As always, Snow White stayed home doing her domestic chores.
As lunchtime approached, she would prepare their lunch and carry it to the
mine.
One day as she arrived at the mine with the lunch, she saw that there had
been a terrible cave-in.
Tearfully, and fearing the worst, Snow White began calling out, hoping
against hope that the dwarfs had
somehow survived.
‘Hello…Hello!’ she shouted. ‘Can anyone hear me? Hello!’

For a long while, there was no answer. Losing hope, Snow White again
shouted,

‘Hello! Is anyone down there?’

Just as she was about to give up all hope, she heard a faint voice from deep
within the mine, singing;

ENGLAND FOR THE WORLD CUP!!!!

Snow White fell to her knees and prayed, ‘Oh, thank you, God! At least Dopey is still alive.’

You know soccer is taking over your life when…

admin — Thu, 20 Aug 2009 05:27:37 +0000

You know soccer is taking over your life when…
You video games of Subbuteo for post game analysis
You refer to the sofa as a “dugout”
You can recall the names of all of the players who have played in winning World Cup teams, but can’t remember the names of your best mates!